Mind & Soul

Astounded and Super-sane. It was never made realistic by life to put such scenario ahead of me that makes me utter both these words together. Yes! There was a time when I was as heartless as the particles of deserted sand; not willing to make way for travelers so that they can hop on to oasis. And; there was a time too, when I was as heartful as a drop of water; willing to travel each iota left on path of life. On both extremes, I always knew something amazing is surly to launch. Considering the expressions on my life chart, I very well know this. Whenever there are hard times, I simply experience something so enriching and amazing that it makes up for everything which has gone through. And I got it?? Sitting and relaxing on couch with layers of thoughts residing in mind (perhaps heart) right now, I realize how effing it all started off. There was no edge and there was no bridge, yet it unfolded; like how! I do not know and nobody knows. It has hands of nature in it. The whole whirlpoo...

The moment, The moments and never aging mementos What a surprising 48 hours I have spent! Ofcourse by GOD’s grace. Just when you stop gauging what life is going to offer you next; you are thrashed to something fascinating. And each time, it turns out more revealing. Have I ever dared to think which I actually lived today! My every cell knows I have never. It is still seems so untouched yet lively. It is still so refreshing that I can feel the moments again. I am still rewinding and pausing at my favorite frames. So if it is that flying kiss at the doorstep, if it is that warmest bye hug ever, if it is that inclination towards the knee, if it is that little moisture in eye, if it is that just 2 inch distance, if that single arm hug covering from behind, if that divine nap in cab, those multiple pecks to compliment nap and hugs, that sofa talk, that lunch with a talk bunch. Oh crap! There was a moment when I needed to chalk out the table. Yes the table. The table which summariz...

Sometimes... Yes sometimes..world seems to end..and people tend to vanish...Astounded with wonder weather I will survive or not..moving to shelter every now and then..would it even matter much.. I feel lonely and loneliness feels me... It such a same way isnt it... It will never be differnet.. Never.. Hell never.. wont ever.. and ever...

Ohhkayee!! Trust me I have taken such a deep breath while writing that okay. Last days have been too much all of a sudden. It is not something new *yawn* happens quite a lot. I read my previous post. Seriously i am amazed. It totally describes how extreme i can be. I am down with fever of emotions i think. I am filled with tears till my throat. I can burst anytime. I am controlling. I feel hopeless; no hopeless is too small. I am zeroed with hope. Infact there is not even a minus. I am smashed by a giant blow and smeared in millions of pieces. I have smiles. I have many of them. For every occasions. But there is no realm of using them. I feel i am too tired to put a smile. I need a warm hug, a broad lap and several pats on my forehead. I know it is too much to ask for. But I am not asking. I just , I just, I just hope. And you are never disallowed to hope. And now m sleepy... Bye

You have emerged as a longing touch from just a shadow, from just monotony and from gospel which i used to live by. Strides which once took me to shore, now have drenched me, till my skin, till my soul?. Deep inside, when i was afraid, I no longer feel the fear ahead. Sometimes I gauge life and take her for granted. I feel it is going to be the same. Every single time, it delights me with its wonders. Monotony is not where it belongs every time. It is what it is. It does not have a name yet. But its beautiful. Its warm, positive and adorable. These times always proves their magic. No matter how hard and tough scenarios are, you so smoothly merge in life and fight with full spree. Ecstasy this time is, it is getting more warm day by day. Brain and heart have never been in such a rhyme. It feels they have turned into an amalgam and working their part at the right time with the right cord. Though i know nothing sustains, not even feelings. They have never been. So do despair! So why not h...

Had enough of flowing winds been a rockstar in a way or two still got smashed by all force in the earth bleeding humming murmuring and yet not praying just lying without any movement pretending to die or perhaps dieing may be i will die would definitely die no, i wont i know the twists life will again make me fly fly with wings sometimes without them too it leaves me high in air bless me with no way assigned dont even whisper in my ear where to go i choose my own path i relax on my own i pick up motion on my own i give up on my own and perhaps i fell on my own i get tangled on my own and then also, i wait for nobody.. nobody and i am proud of it it does leave you alone but at least you are honest with you huh.. m done.. seriously m done i give u damn world fuck off you all i can lead my own way i have always i have always turned heads to me and i will again i will for sure suck it bitches... m js too much for u.. get the hell outa here.. huh!!

12-march-2009 Day started as usual. I was up by 6:45 a.m. I was little happy as two more days to go for weekend. I was also excited as i had done waxing and threading so i was all ready to wear this new kurti of mine which i bought last. I called Kavi at 6:30 and felt kind of burdened to give him a call. I feel this now a days more often that giving him a call is like a duty. In the morning itself i feel terrible giving him a call. I dont know what the hell is happening to me. Is it a crush? or was it a crush? I am a bitch if i am playing with him. May be this is the way i love. Perhaps, because I am irritiated with this fact that he is not around and i dont think so there are good chances he and me will be meeting in coming days. Anyways no benefit in carrying this on. So I went to loo and spent 5 more minutes than usual as i was not feeling well from stomach part. I have got Gas as i had around 20 those stupid hajmola type tablet. I needed some burps and farts which i am not really g...