New Year Humps

11 am- Excited

“He is landing at 7 and heading to dinner at his sister’s.” - She
“Do not tell me that you are accompanying him for dinner!” - Friend
“Well, I have explained it to him, that I am not sure to take it to family level so soon. He says it is just a dinner and his family would not mind if I come as a friend.” - She
“Yeah.. right! It is more than five years since I crossed my teen-age Babes. Pl do not shit me anymore. You are big enough to handle it, anyways just tell me where you guys planning to go after dinner.” - Friend
“That is what I have called for Dumbass.” - She
“Okay, hotel rooms would be expensive this time and I, myself have a date, so cannot lend my apartment as well.” - Friend
“Crap! Guess we will opt for a night out.” - She
“Yeah that would be best as you guys are meeting after a year. You should spend all night together. Go to this Pub downtown, they have coffee etc till 5 am.” - Friend
“Yup, that is what I was thinking. I will update you, Chao!” - She

She is meeting him after three long years and how sexy he has turned up in recent photos. Or may be this harsh break up is driving her nuts to have a little piece of his. Still, she is not sure if it is really going well or if she is just on rebound. Let it be. Enough of planned life and predictable turn of events. She needs to let loose this time. Hell with world.

4 pm – Met, Hugged & Kissed

“So, my sister is picking us up from mall.” - He
“I thought we are going to be together till late evening and then we will go to dinner.” - She
“Sweetie, we are together at her place as well. It is just that, I am here for 3 days. So, I want to be with family.” - He
Clearly you have ‘scheduled’ me in your busy holiday. I am so fucking thankful to you - She

5 pm- Weird

Sister picks them up and in car, they both discuss their family stories and recent events. They are quiet oblivious to the fact that she is sitting behind. She, on other hand, is wondering why she is celebrating her new year by being an audience to random people’s family affairs' stories.

Soon, they reach their place and she tries to be part of every conversation by smiling as wide as possible. She is hell tired in cheeks by now and Nobody has asked for tea yet. She wants to run home.

7 pm- Loosing up

“Hey, hope you are good in here. I just came to know that you are an Engg too.” - Sister’s husband
“Yes I am. I have heard you are too an Engg with MBA.” - She
“Yes, but I left in last semester.” - Husband
“Why but” She
“Well, I started doing well in my own business and MBA was not doing any good to me." - Husband
“Aah ok." - She

They get down with vodka shots and sister’s husband requests sister to sing a song for everybody. Sister smiles and clears her throat while their pet dog runs away in other room.

Sister starts singing while SHE starts drinking.

She wonders why on earth when she is supposed to have some action in bed on New Year ’s Eve, all she is witnessing right now is 'a middle aged couple' who is totally wet in pants and fore-playing with Lata Mangeshkar’s song.

9 pm- Drunk

“So, we are staying in guest room for tonight.” - He
“Are you out of your mind. How can us. I mean..It would be weird. We are not married or getting married or even planning to.” - She
“They are cool about it. Plus they say you have to spend time together, so better be home.” - He
She (with sex in mind) - “Ok, No choice it seems”.

11 pm- Door Bolted!

They sit on bed and she is hoping that he starts with some romantic lines. To her surprise (rather shock) He reaches her, jumps on bed and mercilessly wipes out all saliva from her mouth with his tongue. So this is what they call a smooch!

Apparently ‘foreplay’ is not in his books when he is super-drunk. Thankfully, he has taken efforts to pull clothes down. This is not as pleasant as ‘Mills and Boon’ describes. She feels pain and can’t even shout because the guy on top of her, has glued his lips with hers. Dear God, If this is sex. I feel Nuns are blessed.

Every move to get him off her makes him hornier. Finally he offloads and stares at her as if he forgot that he is humping on her and not on his usual victim ‘the pillow’. He turns, curls up and sleeps. She hugs him from behind and tries to wake him up. He keeps responding with snoring sounds.

She comes back to other side of bed. So this is what they call sex. Is this the ordeal all woman goes through every night. I fear what used to happen ages back when woman did not have internet. Did they even get a chance to enjoy sex or even had knowledge about it when they’d get such cold bull in bed. Man, what the hell was I thinking to date such scumbag. I know what actually i was thinking. I was thinking to get an action in my non-existent sex life. I am wasted on my first ever bed-time in this life.

She gets up with a noise and checks time. It is 4 am in morning. He humps again and jam session with snoring sounds. Sister and her husband wake them up for tea in morning. She freshen up and leave for home as soon as she can.

1 Week Later

“But what really happened? Did his sister do anything?” - Friend
“No. It is just mutual. Things would not work out with my parents. Better to be away.” She
“what he says?” - Friend
“He is being supportive and taking it positive. No harsh feeling at all. I told you it is mutual.” - She
“So you would not tell me THE truth. Coffee in an hour and you better tell me what all happened that fucking night.” - She
“But..hey..hung up tone.”

1 week later

“Dude, i don’t get it.” - He
“what?” - His Friend
“I know it is mutual and things won't work out. She even proved me that we are not compatible and how troublesome our marriage would be. Still why do i have a feeling that she dumped me.” - He
“Dude, Told you to not drink that night.” - Friend

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