One such KLPD

Popping a pill makes me realize that a list has to be made for first aid box. I have finished almost all the head ache tablets lately. After all, husband’s dear cousin sister arrived ‘personally’ from California. Moment she caught the flight back to Cali after 15 days ‘well & hell’ spent at my place, I announced very loudly to ‘only dumb for me’ husband that next time she is coming, I am off to Himalayas. Husband, too, gave up this time as he himself suffered with her cousin’s super chatty avatar.

I make myself sit on arm chair in living room and put the bottom half on centre table which is, otherwise not allowed at home. But when I am alone and pissed off, I grant this much luxury to just myself.

So I start with pen and paper to scribble pills’ name and then another list pops up and then another and soon I realise that I should basically do this on excel as I am way too productive today as compared to the expectation.

But the lazy bums whisper in head, leave the damn lists and just sit for a while. This makes me throw pen, paper and my bums to bedroom. I lie down and sleep unless the poor husband bangs the door.

Jumped from bed, I open the door for him with perfect Einstein hairdo and puffy eyes.

My hundred year old pyjamas must have told him rest of the story that without pouncing on any household task, how come I am still prepared to say that ‘I am tired like hell’.

The poor creature comes inside and gives a hug without any comment. Something inside me is surprised now.

Ok the hug is now two minutes long. He cannot think to cuddle up just back from office. He always need breather before any move. Is this the last night Cosmo effect which I puked at him after reading two page article on ‘How to...um... (Let’s leave that)’.

I know where this is going. He wants me to cook or pole dance?? Why this guy is not speaking today.

Ok so now I am made to sit on arm chair and he is kneeling on floor. I am sure he has smoked weed. He is now massaging feet which makes my brain completely inactive and I am completely in control of the massage.

He is good today.

He sits now and fondle with hair. His fingers go somewhere between neck and ear lobes which makes me wonder how many ‘Turn on’ spots are there in me. His arms are in perfect pitch, one with foot and one with neck. What a husband I am blessed with. If now, he demands me to cook for next 10 day, I will say yes. This very thought of saying yes to cooking wakes me up from deadly erotica mind just played.

I get up and ask him if he wants tea; onto which he replies with a kiss and ask me to sit down. Now I am provided with extremely sensuous shoulder massage which completely kills the voices inside and thanks to McDonalds ‘I am loving it’.

I am into extreme relaxed stride and want him to carry this on till the time I say ‘stop’. Don’t know when he has put ‘us’ in bed and we are ‘this much’ close to forget world and hideous table clock gifted by cousin sister.

And his phone rings. Office call! Voices are back in head. He has been asked to send something urgently. Suddenly the erotic husband disappears, gets converted to the usual self and lands into study table. The hideous clock now looks like laughing at me with full spree.

Showing middle finger to don’t know whom, I place my laptop in bed. Time for porn!