From Nokia To BlackBerry

You may congratulate me for finally joining the lead of self proclaimed superiority club of BBM labourers. Nokia folks, big hug to you! Being with you was awesome when you’d utmost grip on market. Just like a possessive Boyfriend, I had to move on from you. I can understand being a loser sucks but when life offers me all kinds of lemon, I squeeze them into mouth post tequila and throw away the peanuts. Hence, I dumped you.

At first, moving from 3.5 inches N8 to 2.5 inches Blackberry was not comfortable. No, I won’t crack ‘size does matter’ joke though it is dead true. Chill!!

Yours truly has always pampered her gadgets. The N8 was always in leather phone cover which was a gift purchase from Indonesia. The earphones were as brand new as Kangna Ranaut’s Silicone. Only if, N8 had a good Operating System (OS). Uncountable times I wished to throw it into dustbin or bang on the head of front door neighbor Baisla Uncle when it used to get hang in between important downloads.

Anyway, Blackberry proves to be a remedy to all. After using a touch-screen of N8, I almost ogled over buttoned BB keypad. I was happy like gorilla seeing a keypad finally to finger and some buttons finally to press. (Dirty Minds!)

Emails

As soon as I setup official email box, the speed with which emails were arriving in inbox was overwhelming*. Trust me I might have cried when alone. I never had a luck of email inboxing at such promptness during N8 tenure. Even when it did, I could read only subject line as the phone itself could not survive happiness due to such processing speed and get hang thereafter. People complain about blackberry e.g. ‘No life Dude and Working 24*7’. But I don’t. Not because I have manager who follows my Blog sometimes and can read this. No, Not at all. I love working and checking emails as soon as the red cross appears on mailbox icon; is the reason why Big Bang happened. Jokes apart, email on phone makes life simpler. E.g. when ICICI offers me 5% discount on iPAD purchase if I shop more than 10,000; I jump like a frog on my debit card and run to mall in my shorts.

Chat/BBM

With BB, Chats are easier. First and Foremost, I can do it with one hand. N8 was pricey. It wanted my both hands. The lady gets tired, alright! With Blackberry, I chat with light speed and flirt around swiftly. It helps my non-existent love life a lot. I flirt faster, date faster and breakup faster. So the syaapa ends as soon as it starts.

Social Media

You wake up at 5 am for piss call; post which; you have those 5 minutes where you are about to resume your dream but you choose to open phone and check notifications. Yes, it is that important. If one is as twitter crazy as this blog’s owner; then May Thorsten Heins only help you! Had blackberry been in the times of Ramayana, Hanuman could have fetched Sanjivni Booti way faster by starting a trend on Twitter. In fact, Ramayana possibly had never happened. They had used GPS to find Sita before Ramanand Sagar could build a GOD Damn series.

Calls

I can’t compare this between N8 and Blackberry. But Blackberry is classy when it is my Mom on other line. Especially when she, out of sheer love, scolds me for not preparing a tea by my own God gifted hands. Yes, whole world listens to this conversation, thanks to Automatic-raise-in-volume-with-random-calls feature. N8 was not so badass. It was so subtle that many a times I had to switch on speaker to make Mom understand difference between Khajoori and Patiala salwaar.

Music

This is where Blackberry sucks. No respect for music in life. This weirdo has a pathetic music player with a disclaimer ‘You-should-fucking-be-grateful-for-this’. On second thoughts, weirdo is right. After emails, chats and social media, one hardly has time to hear Honey Singh. N8 was best in music dept. though It had same 6 set of equalizer options which Nokia forgot to pay attention after milking millions. I could fill my N8 with as many Honey Singhs, Jagjit Singhs, Bryan Adams and Daler Mehndis due to its 16 GB inbuilt memory and an external memory slot. Only catch was the OS as below.

If Song list is less than 100 then Life is Good.
If Song list is between 100 & 500 then other operations are affected by 10 sec delay.
If Song list is between 500 & 1000 then buy fucking music system. It is a phone not a DJ.

Camera

This is where Nokia scored brownie points. Part of me was assured that N8 was never a phone but a Digi-cam until, one not so fine day, Bejan Daruwalla appeared in Stephen Elop’s dream and broke this to him “One day Samsung shall pay the price to Almighty Apple”. Stephen called up R&D team and Symbian was created in one night shot. Rest is history. So that is how N8 was landed with 12 MP, 4000x3000 pixels camera. With Blackberry, Raju Wedding Photographer’s flash lights are mandatory before clicking a picture.

Anyway, Apart from above:-

For Paperweight purpose - Both N8 and BB are equally competitive and useful.
For Text messages – Yes BBM and Whatsapp are much easier. Who the fuck sms now a days?
Screen Shortcuts – BB has lot many screen shortcuts. I don’t think anybody care. If you do Pl criticize me in comments and share my blog link on various platforms. Just make me famous Ok?
Dimension, Display, CPU, GPU, GPS, TPS, FDI, BJP, NDI – Seriously why on earth don’t you Google!

Once again, I am heading to spend my hard earned money on new cellphone Smartphone. A Steve Jobs admirer inside me, who has read half of his biography, wants to buy an iPhone but I’ll go for Android before Apple sue me for my Rectangle earrings with rounded corners.

*How BlackBerry works? Know here.
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